Oddities of Lebanese on Vacation

In a country like Lebanon, where caution and constant vigilance is always on everyone’s mind, it is not miraculous that we have learnt to spot foreigners in our country. Especially as their dress code and hair color are so unlike our own. I always find it amusing watching the tourists tour around. They look at the different landscapes and historical sites with awe, curiosity, and just a tinge of fear. I would think that the heavily implied “BEWARE! DANGER! ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK” sign in the arrivals section of the airport should have given them a pretty clear summary of what they are getting into.

Wherever you are coming from, you are most likely going down a steep slope when you arrive at our airport 😀 (Photo credit: Bruce A Stockwell)

But then I imagine how Lebanese people appear when they themselves are on vacation. I doubt we could be called amusing, more likely irritating to the foreigners in their foreign country. This post is mainly to identify and relate to the behavior of our fellow countrymen/women when abroad no matter how hard we try to ignore them.

First of all, we must start of course on the airplane. When there is a horde of Lebanese people on one airplane, there is no chance that you will be able to relax and meditate on board (Sorry Eat Pray Love). Lebanese, as a people, are naturally curious and meddlesome. So it is quite common for the person sitting next to you to ask all about your family, where you are from, your exact destination, and even exchange numbers you will never use despite assurances of a long lasting friendship. Pretending you are reading a book or listening to music will unfortunately not help you escape the insistent poking in your arm to answer his/her insistent questioning. Believe me I know. And if you managed to avoid sitting next to a busy-body, do not take your yoga pose just yet (I mean cool it with the meditating…it is NOT happening). Because I assure you the person in front of you has not escaped the never ending chatter of a curious Lebanese.  And of course you overhear EVERY WORD they are saying including the fact that apparently they are long lost relatives finally reunited. Another thing that I find quite ridiculously funny is when all the passengers burst into applause when the airplane lands at whichever airport destination, as if this is the first time this has happened in the history of mankind. How this began as a tradition I will never know. I doubt that the pilot can even hear the applause luckily closed up in the cockpit, even though I am sure he will be more than grateful to hear their grateful appreciation for something he now considers quite ordinary. I’ll be sure to be a Lebanese and ask him/her an endless series of questions on the topic next time I’m in an airplane.

See how nice and calm she looks? Yeah so not happening on an airplane ride with a bunch of Lebanese on board… (Photo credit: crdotx)

2- When some Lebanese individuals (myself shamefully included) run into a large group of Arab tourists speaking loudly and enthusiastically in Arabic, we pretend not to understand Arabic. This is not because we think ourselves better than other Arabs (even though I am sure others will disagree with this statement), it because , in my opinion, we are on vacation in a foreign country looking for adventure, the new, the unfamiliar, and quite frankly spending time with other Arabic-speaking individuals is really not that new or unfamiliar. You will observe this happening quite often when on a train or subway and you are talking in Arabic with your friends (probably gossiping about the person sitting right next to you), when a group of rather rowdy Arabs take a seat. Notice how you and your friends immediately switch to English or French to avoid speaking with them. Speaking a language no one understands in a foreign country is especially entertaining, but when meeting others who do understand the gossip you are sharing instantly bursts your fun bubble.

3-No European or Westerner should ever try to get in a fight with one Lebanese person who is travelling by pack/group. Seeing how our country men have been in conflict with one another since before I was born, it is obvious that fighting, physically or verbally, is in our blood. When one is accustomed to confronting others when wronged and arguing with those who might take advantage of us (for example, when a cabdriver suddenly demands double the fare while driving, you have to argue, when someone cuts you in line, we argue, when the mechanic messes up your car beyond repair, you have to go and demand restitution…)When you know that there is no government to back you up, to provide security and protection for your purchases and transactions with others, you learn to defend yourself and get what you rightfully deserve by force of your personality or unfortunately, your fists. This is the unfortunate reality we live in. So when someone abroad tries to hassle or intimidate a Lebanese amongst friends, he really does not know what hell he hath put his foot in. This is not to say we are not perfectly nice and polite people, just no one, according to the Lebanese saying, “step on our tail.”